then it was over. i guess.

haha didnt i tell you we got back together? and.. well, its was over.. again!!! grr. things went a little crazy. i got worried. about myself, loosing all of me in him. I'm scared of giving all my self to him until none is left of me. i can be like that sometimes. i was once like that, and i now as i look back, i hated being that way. i build around my world to only one person. its not healthy. at all. now i knew. and now, i broke up with this great guy just to shield my heart to immense pain. wew. I'm worried i'll end up just like the other relationships that went sour. i cant live with that, again. i have friends who were going out for like 6 years and then suddenly. they decided that its not working, they they'll just quit. how can you even quit to a relationship having almost quarter of your life? oh my god. i cant even imagine myself being with a guy for over 6 or 7 years and break up. (f.y.i. longest commitment= 3 yrs. it. broke. me. to. pieces.) i couldn't bare the thought of having my heart broken again. i said to myself that next time,  i would really take things into my hands, and wont let a guy hurt me again. I'm just wondering if i did the right thing with him. i know he loved me. he really did love me. I just chickened out i guess.. hahaha everyday i fight back the urge to reconcile with him.. i want to stand up for my decision. :D backbone please? :)